Inside: Living an unbalanced life means embracing ebb and flow and the delightful truth that building a joyful life does not require perfection.
I didn’t know in my 20s that much of my pain and anxiety was rooted in perfectionism and never feeling good enough.
I didn’t understand in my 30s that staying up too late and rarely resting as I tried to organize, plan, and balance my life perfectly was an attempt to feel safe in the world.
Little did I know that one day in my 40s I’d choose to surrender, loosen my grip finger by finger, make peace with imperfection, and finally start living.
I found joy and delight in an unbalanced life.
When I awoke to the truth that joy and pain can coexist, I started laughing more and scanning for the beauty in each ordinary day.
Realizing that life is both imperfect and beautiful and offering myself permission to tilt instead of balance made space for me to step into my creative work and craft a more compassionate life.
Tilting as a goal works better for me than pursuing balance.
Living an unbalanced life means understanding that on any given day, week, or year, every yes we utter means a no to countless other tasks and goals. It means embracing ebb and flow and the delightful truth that building a joyful life does not require perfection.
To me, while balance connotes constant micro-shifts and vigilance to ensure equilibrium, and leaves me exhausted, tilting feels slower, gentler, and more forgiving.
When I picture myself tilting I consider a tree that has put down deep strong roots which allow it to be flexible and resilient. Some days it stands upright and serene, other days it sways gently, and when fierce storms come it might lose a branch here or there but it bends with the winds and does not break.