On Holding Space for Ourselves

holding space

I was in a bad car accident yesterday and by all accounts should not have walked away spirit and body bruised but whole and very much alive.

It’s hard to type. Both wrists and arms hurt when I use them. But I process in writing so I think this is the kindest thing I can do for myself this morning.

One person’s choice almost left my children parentless in the span of one heartbeat. Just one. That’s all it takes.

But here I am. Very much awake.

I feel.

I feel anger, gratitude, fear, disbelief, pain of course, and maybe surrender. Don’t quote me on the surrender just yet.

The thought does not escape me that I “preach” the idea that life is imperfect AND beautiful and that greater calm comes when we embrace the imperfection and messiness of life and I keep getting invitation after invitation to practice. As though there’s more I need to learn.

I’m invited to continue growing, stretching, and becoming.

This is not how I had planned fall to go. But then, last fall surprised me too, so did the new year. The truth is, I keep making plans like I’m in charge yet I’m not sure I’ve had more than two days in a row that ran like clockwork.

This year has invited me to go deep into practicing the idea of holding space. Holding space for others and holding space for self. That’s what I wanted to write about this week – holding space for self.

And instead of writing about holding space for self, the best thing I can do this week is to simply practice it.

What does it mean to hold space for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control. –Heather Plett

Holding space for me to feel what I need to feel. To walk slowly in the woods if I feel up to it, to rest and heal and be patient with everything and everyone. To breathe and focus on one small step at a time as I deal with RCMP and insurance and medical stuff. To allow myself to notice (and not judge) my resentment and frustration that yet again my work goals will be impacted.

Space to just be here. Exactly who and how I am.

And to find my way forward, gently.

Krista xo

P.S. I won’t be able to respond to comments this week.

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38 comments on “On Holding Space for Ourselves

  1. Dear Krista, I’m sorry to hear of your terrifying accident. Please hold space for yourself, for as long as necessary, to heal physically and emotionally from the trauma. No need to respond. Sending healing thoughts.

  2. How frightening and painful Krista. I am so sorry that happened but grateful it wasn’t worse. I wish you quick healing, that the fear will leave, and you will be whole and intact.

  3. Holding space with you Krista. Allow yourself as much time as you need to heal – physically, mentally and emotionally. Our bodies hold these traumas for a lifetime if we aren’t given the opportunity to complete our nervous systems self protection responses (flight/fight/freeze). So when you’re ready see if you can find a Somatic Experiencing practitioner who will work with you and allow your body to tell its story and provide your body with the support and guidance it will need to complete and release the nervous system’s self protection responses. I am holding the belief in you that your body has the innate capacity to heal. Much love my friend.

  4. So sorry for your current situation. Very happy you are “okay”. Thank you for your awesome thoughts and beautiful way of sharing them. You helped me today even in the midst of your pain and troubles. Prayers for healing. God bless you!

  5. So thankful you are OK! WOW ! Do like you tell us to do and and take care of yourself!! Take time to heal and thank you for the thought to allow a space for others too.

  6. Oh, Krista! I am holding you in my heart and prayers. Please take good care of your beautiful wonderful self. You mean so much to many, including me. Heal well.

  7. There isn’t much good to be found in an accident. But you have found some! And it does provide an opportunity to experience the willingness of others to care for us when we need it. Take time, heal, and accept help. All of it. Know that you are gracing the giver when you let them give 🙂

  8. I am grateful that you have truly integrated your practice into this terrible thing. You are an encouragement for the rst of is to keep at it! Prayers ascend for swift and compete healing.

  9. Wishing you comfort & peace at this difficult time. So relieved you are here to talk about it! Take good care & all the time you need…

  10. I am so sorry to hear this. My family are in hell at the moment because of a crash too. But, it was my nephew who was the bad driver, and he is now serving time. He was depressed after the death of his Mum and Grandad in a short space of time. He nearly killed a woman, and himself, both have life changing injuries. We are all serving time with him. Never, never take life for granted….

  11. My heart is with you, Krista, as you take one day at a time dealing with the messiness of this accident & the healing process. Your heart shorn through in your message to let us all know what you’ve just been through, thank you. Prayers of comfort as you heal.

  12. Oh, dear Krista, my heart and prayers are with you; and gratitude that you and your husband are still with us. We have so much more to glean from you. Thank You Father, for keeping her on loan to us for a longer sojourn. Many blessings being sent to you. Xoxoxo

  13. The ideas you “preach” are why we are all here. All that matters now is that you take all the time you need to mend. I thank the universe that you are here to tell the story. Sending you much love.

  14. Relieved to know you are ok and taking time to hold space for yourself and heal. Wishing you a speedy and uneventful recovery, along with the patience needed when that process feels too slow.

  15. Sending love Krista My stomach lurched when you said you’d been in an accident, I felt the slam of my own accident a couple of years ago. My body feels it still in any sudden movement in the car. Take time to release the trauma of what you’ve experienced and the horror of the what ifs. Wishing you a peaceful recovery x

  16. Sending you much love and healing prayers for strength, peace and recovery. I am so thankful that you can continue your journey and work here on earth. I empathize with your frustration at unplanned events. I have often thought I would have a “thrive year” only to find it was a “survive year.” There are lessons in both. Praying your “thrive time” is right around the corner.❤

  17. This year so many of my people have held space for me during my grief. I am so blessed they have. And I hope to bless others (and myself) by doing the same.

  18. I love that you may have lost a child but you are still a mother. I have recently lost 2 and my world has rocked i am in hiding i must get out of the mud. Hope you heal beautifully and I pray for all of us who are in a dark place right now

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