Inside: The past seven years were crushingly hard and exceedingly beautiful. In the midst of it all I learned I am enough. You are enough too.
I saw myself carrying sloppy buckets of joy, one in each hand. They splashed over onto my bare feet as I slowly walked up the grassy path.
Moments before I saw in my mind’s eye a big gaping wound being stitched up and *heard* the clear, resounding thought: “this is no longer your story. You will write a new story.”
I realized with a tinge of self-doubt and a profound sense of awe, that I had become a joy carrier.
An imperfect and beautiful carrier of messy, hopeful, life-giving joy.
The past seven years were crushingly hard and exceedingly beautiful. In the midst of it all I learned I am enough.
In the past seven years, I returned to school, started writing, launched babies into the world as I launched a new business, struggled with fear, anxiety and suicidal thoughts but also learned to ask for help and advocate for my needs.
I walked through surgery, chronic pain, and was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I’ve practiced embracing the truth of what I want, honoured my wiring, and learned to shore up leaky boundaries.
I’ve buried people I love, said yes to adventure, worked really hard and gave myself permission to rest. I’ve put down deep, strong roots of self-awareness and self-compassion.
And I picked up joy along the way. Enough to share.
What happens, when you’re thirsty and dip into the bucket of joy, is that you come up not just quenched but awake. You awaken to an important truth. A life-altering, mind-bending, heart-healing truth.
You are messy and imperfect and sometimes afraid (because you’re human) and still learning and growing. And also, you are enough.
You struggle and question and wrestle and some weeks alternate between big belly laughs and broken ugly sobs and it’s all OK.
You’re in a season of hard transition and trying to find your way again or you’ve never really known who you are and what you want. Messy and still enough.
You are beautiful and gifted and uniquely wired; you’re lovable and you merit space on this earth.
It’s a message that’s been circling for years now, you may even feel a little tired of it, yet it bears repeating till the cows come home.
It seems to me that every one of my clients and class participants, with their varied life experiences, personalities, and personal challenges, need to hear this and move it from their head to their heart.
If you’re still learning this, you’re certainly not alone.
You are enough, you are enough, you are exceedingly more than enough.
You can build a joy-filled, purposeful life, and define what enough looks and feels like for yourself. -build a right-sized life
You can stop comparing and measuring yourself up against other people or against your own graceless, impossible standards.
You can own your long-held dream and offer your small gifts. The essential work is to learn you’re capable of showing up and doing hard things. This is more important than accomplishing anything or hitting a particular goal.
You can realize there is room for you here. You can honour your wiring and leverage your strengths, you don’t have to look like anyone else or know for sure where you’re heading. You can be raw and real. It is enough.
You can learn to put down strong healthy roots of self-awareness and self-compassion. When we decide to love ourselves, we can love others well and affect change.
You can finally tell the truth about what you want and learn to love yourself well, shift course, let go of what no longer serves, and build a joyful, purposeful life.
You can forgive yourself for doing your imperfect best and shake off all the self-judgment and critical thoughts and realize that today, this simple, ordinary, beautiful day is a fresh start.
You can loosen your grip on what you thought your life would look like, open wide to joyful possibility, and decide to show up every day determined, stubborn, and full of excitement.
You can embrace that a full, beautiful life is also sometimes a stressful or uncertain one. That perfection and arriving are never the goal. Today is the only real promise we have.
Let’s journey together
I have no idea where the next seven years or the next seven days will lead. That isn’t my business. My business is to decide that I will show up. And the mindset with which I’ll show up. And that when life feels hard and I forget I am loved and needed, I will show up anyway.
And I get to choose joy every day.
Maybe, you realize, you are ready to write a new story.
Step out onto the path with me and see where it leads.
We can invite joy to come along as our faithful companion.
Now What? My Show up Afraid course was written not to help you “become a better you” or learn all sorts of new happiness hacks but to help you see, *really see*, how you are gifted and beautiful and more than enough already. My desire is that it helps you put down deep roots of self-awareness and self-compassion so you can show up fully to your life tomorrow and the next day and the next season of life and pick up joy each step of the way.
Esther C. wrote “I just finished reading the latest module (on mind-body health) and it makes me want to cry/dance/jump/laugh with tears of joy and freedom.”