Inside: Growing older is a gift. Growing older joyfully is a choice. Whether or not we experience a joyful life midlife and beyond is largely about personal belief and choice. This post contains referral links.
Growing older is a gift. Growing older joyfully is a choice.
Martha Beck writes “since our society equates happiness with youth, we often assume that sorrow, quiet desperation, and hopelessness go hand in hand with getting older. They don’t. Emotional pain or numbness are symptoms of living the wrong life, not a long life.”
As I dive into the research around health, happiness, and longevity, I unearth a compelling story.
The Happiness Curve follows a u-shaped path, dipping in our 30’s and 40’s and rebounding midlife and beyond.
5 strategies for a joyful LIFE – midlife and beyond
The way we show up to life at every age and stage is largely (not solely) about personal belief and choice – we need to understand this for a joyful life. There’s plenty we do not control in life that can impact our sense of wellbeing, this is part of being human in a messy world. But for a joyful life it’s important to take intentional action where we can to handcraft a life that feels like home.
1. Prioritize Purpose
First of all, the way that we think about ageing is informed by cultural bias. Some cultures honour the wisdom of age; members of these societies are treated with respect and live with a strong sense of contribution, a significant factor in long-term health and happiness.
We all have gifts to offer, at every stage of life. We may retire from paid work but we don’t retire from contribution and community. If we are looking to live a long and meaningful life, a joyful life, then purpose becomes priority (1, 2).
Think about how different our world would feel if each of us awoke each day with a sense of purpose – if we took personal responsibility for helping to build a family, community, and world we want to live in. We can shift cultural dynamics by deciding to value our wisdom and showing up with courage, curiosity, and determination at every stage of life.
1. TAKE ACTION: Identify your mission/purpose or the gift (big or small) you have to offer at this stage of life. Continue seeking your people/your place of belonging or the community that you will impact by showing up on purpose. My Brave and Beautiful Membership Community was created with this in mind.
vision + Values-Aligned Living Workshop
We are all embodying something, it just may or may not be the truth of who we are, our core values and primary dreams. Instead, we may be living from comparison, perfectionism, fear, external pressure or conditioning, and old narratives. I consistently circle back to Vision and Values in my work with my clients and community because this is foundational to a brave and beautiful life. Learn more here.
2. Lifestyle and environment matter
Our beliefs around mental and physical health and ageing are challenged by research into the world’s Blue Zones, where people live into old age mentally and physically healthy and vibrant, free of the chronic diseases of the western world.
Genetics are only part of our story. When scientists examine the people living in Blue Zones they see that their behaviours around nutrition, exercise, sleep, emotional support, fresh air, and a simple life – all work together to keep them disease-free and vibrant into old age. When these same people relocate and adopt a different lifestyle, they succumb to the same chronic illnesses like everyone else. Lifestyle and environment matter.
Longitudinal studies show that people who exercise, regardless of age, score higher on cognitive tests than those who do not. Exercise (or joyful movement) is just as good as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression (1, 2) and people who exercise have better sex lives (1) and experience a boost in confidence and competency as well as independence as they age.
2. TAKE ACTION: Create a list of up to 10 simple rules (those things that will have the biggest impact to your wellbeing) to guide your habits around nutrition, sleep, exercise, etc. and track these goals. We progress in what we track.
3. Happiness follows a U-shaped path
In wealthier, English speaking countries, psychological well-being and happiness are believed to follow a “u shaped” path with the lowest dip in middle age. Short-term happiness is said to be high in one’s ’20s, dip in mid-life, and peak at age 70. Stress levels, sadness, and worry fall off after age 50. In other words, there is a net happiness gain after one’s middle years (1, 2).
This is good news if we’re talking about growing older with joy and possibly less thrilling for those of us in the thick of middle-age. I believe that there is wisdom in each season, however, and midlife offers us an important call to growth. It is here that we are called to shake off everything that no longer serves, get clear on who we choose to be for the next season of life, and begin walking in greater freedom.
We can loosen our grip on how life “should be” or who we used to be so that we can embrace who we are; we can let go of unhealthy relationships, attitudes, clutter, habits, negative self-talk, addiction, perfectionism, comparison, fear or shame. Don’t carry old, worn-out baggage into your next season of life.
3. TAKE ACTION: Use my Brain Download Printable to help you get started in identifying what you need to let go in this season and create a plan of action to move you forward. Enlist help from a therapist, spiritual guide, decluttering guide or a coach if need be so you can move forward in freedom.
4. Treat yourself Kindly
I attended an integrative health conference this past fall at the University of Alberta. Many of the physicians speaking at this event addressed the mind-body connection, including the impact of placebo or nocebo in their work and health outcomes. Dr. Tracy Gaudet, Executive Director of the Veterans Health Administration (VHA) National Office of Patient-Centered Care and Cultural Transformation, claimed that “the root cause of the (United States’ health-care) crisis is that we have put disease at the center, not the person.”
She spoke to greatly improving health outcomes when the focus shifted away from a treatment-first model to helping patients feel empowered by understanding what really matters in their life and what brings them joy and happiness and then equipping them to take charge of their health through self-care practices – their lifestyle choices and behaviours (1, 2).
These results align with what happiness research tells us: that 40% of happiness is tied to how we think and act (1). We cannot control genetics or all aspects of lifestyle or environment but whatever our age or stage of life, we can leverage the power of our thoughts and behaviour for improved physical and emotional/mental wellbeing.
4. TAKE ACTION: Ditch the negative self-talk and learn to shift the way you think. In my Resource Library you can access worksheets to get you started – sign up below for access. Learn more about developing a healthy stress mindset so you can embrace imperfection and just do all or something.
5. Keep learning and growing
Newer research on positive brain plasticity challenges the belief that cognitive decline as we age is a matter of course. We can preserve brain function and happiness by protecting our neurons and continually developing plasticity (the ability to build a pathway in the brain). Dr. Datis Kharrazian says that brain plasticity is dependent upon two factors: stimulation (ex. via new learning, staying physically and socially active, and practicing mindfulness) and the appropriate chemical environment (ex. via nutrition, lifestyle, lowering inflammation, neurotransmitter function) (1).
In the summer of my 39th birthday, I encountered a vibrant group of friends in their 70’s. These adventurous couples seemed to be more energetic and engaged with life than I, though I was about half their age. I wanted what they had. Whether they knew the science or not, I look back on them as perfect examples of how to encourage positive plasticity and show up with joy in every season.
Many people launch new careers midlife and beyond, learn new languages, or simply come into their own later in life. Play, have fun, create, laugh, go on adventures, build things, acquire a new meaningful skill, engage in computer-based brain training, fall in love. Every stage of life opens to us new joyful possibilities and those who jump in with both feet are more likely to thrive.
5. TAKE ACTION: Practice playing and choose one new habit or skill to challenge you in this season to keep your brain healthy and your outlook positive.
My mom died at 53 and my dad just past his 66th birthday. This loss has propelled me to show up with joy, and live on purpose, however many days I get here on this earth. I am not in a rush but I live curious and open to the gifts and call to growth of each passing season – and I’ll certainly take advantage of these 5 powerful strategies for my own joyful life – midlife and beyond.
Krista xo
NOTES:
- Nocebo: a detrimental effect on health produced by psychological or psychosomatic factors such as negative expectations of treatment or prognosis.
- Placebo: a substance or treatment with no active therapeutic effect. Common placebos include inert tablets (like sugar pills), inert injections (like saline), sham surgery, and other procedures.
- Middle-age: varies according to source but roughly the ages of 40/45-60/65
