Inside: You haven’t missed the boat. If you’re one of the many late bloomers, it’s not too late. You can reinvent yourself and build a life you love. This post contains referral links. This a guest post by Emma Scheib of Simple Slow Lovely.
I have always been a late bloomer. Not in the physical sense, but in almost every other facet of life. I didn’t start university until I was 23, and I didn’t start my love affair with running until I was 25. I’ve spent my thirties raising small children, and at 40, I’ve only just figured out what I want to do career-wise
I have always felt ‘late to the party’ and somewhat underdressed. As if I didn’t get the memo about the things you ought to do for a good life. I’ve fumbled down my own path, often tripping and falling and then blaming myself for not having followed the status quo.
Many of my peers have been working in their chosen industry for well over a decade. They have a semblance of ‘sorted’ to this area of their life.
And yet here I am, drip-feeding a sizable student loan, working part-time at a real estate office (after ditching my dream job to slow down), and wondering if I need to retrain in some area.
There’s hope for us late bloomers
I was pleasantly surprised to discover a new book. Late Bloomers: The Power of Patience in a World Obsessed with Early Achievement, by Rich Karlgaard (publisher of Forbes). He argues that while late bloomers have been chronically undervalued by society, we may actually be better off.
When we ‘find our way’ in our forties and even later in life, we are often better equipped for the new season, having more years of wisdom, compassion, resilience, and insight under our belt. Kalgaard proposes – that we “consider a kinder clock for human development”.
I sometimes question my bumbling path, and my choice to quit my dream job. I don’t regret the choice per se, but I often wonder, how exactly did I get here? Forty and reinventing my life, again.
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It’s never too late
That’s when I turn to other late-bloomers for inspiration and advice. Late bloomers are often women who have taken a break from work to raise children, only to find the career they left wasn’t one they wanted to return to.
My husband’s Aunty is a wonderful example of this. She trained in her twenties as a nurse and worked until she had her first child. Another 3 children later, and a husband who worked 80 hour weeks as a surgeon meant returning to nursing was too difficult.
But now, in her fifties, in an empty nest, she is retraining as an interior designer. She has decided to start fresh, work from the bottom up, and fuel her creativity through this new career.
And there’s no shortage of other inspiring examples. Steve Jobs was a college school drop out, and Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until age 49. And one of my personal favourites, Kathryn Joosten. Joosten became famous in her 60s for her role in West Wing, after beginning her acting career at 53.
In case you didn’t get the message … It’s never too late.
What I want to know, and teach my two daughters, is that you don’t have to bloom when everyone else does. Additionally, just like our favourite rose bush, we get to bloom over and over again. You are not limited to blooming in one season of your life.
Coaching for Brave, Growth-Minded Midlife Women
You’re done people-pleasing, devaluing yourself, and deferring joy for some future magical day. You’re ready to BE who you want to be in the world and learn to BE on your own side. And you’re committed to a practice of consistent values-aligned action to handcraft a life you love and that allows you to thrive in every season – even the hardest of them.
Seasonal blooming
What if we embraced the idea that we could bloom later in life, in a time of our choosing. And that we could enjoy several ‘blooms’ across our lifespan.
Who’s to say we won’t become a chef in our forties or a children’s author in our fifties?
As someone who believes our lives are made up of seasons, this idea makes sense to me. Seasonal living allows us to give ourselves swaths of grace and the ability to reinvent ourselves when we ‘grow out’ of a current job or hobby.
In high school, I flunked every exam except English (and only just passed that one!). Living in a volatile home environment made education difficult to focus on. It wasn’t the right season for me to be learning and growing in this way.
I’m thankful that I gave learning a second chance in my twenties. And I’m convinced that part of my academic success in my late twenties was because it was the right season. If I had gone, fresh out of high school I doubt I would have had the same results.
When I left my full time ‘dream job’ two years ago it was so that I could be more present in the season of raising children. I’ll be in this season for at least another decade, and the way this season looks will change as my daughters grow.
And allowing myself to enter this season meant uncovering a flower that may not have bloomed otherwise. I am reinventing myself as a writer and a slow-coach and I’m grateful for the opportunity to do this work.
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REFRAMING to see the opportunity that awaits us
One of my favourite question to ask is ‘what if?’. So I’ll ask again.
What if we were able to disrupt societal expectations that demand we achieve certain milestones at certain ages?
I believe this would equate to children who aren’t marginalized for failing developmental milestones. Teenagers who are more comfortable in their own skin, even when it’s different from their peers. And as adults, we could be free to chase our dreams when the season is right, not when we are expected to.
If you feel like you’ve missed the boat, or haven’t ‘made it’ yet, I want to encourage you to reframe this. Instead, look at the remaining years of your life as full of opportunity, no matter what your past looks like.
You get to bloom, more than once, and when you are ready, not when the world thinks you should.
And we are waiting to watch each beautiful unfolding.
Emma Scheib
Emma Scheib gained her Masters in Psychology in 2013 and has since worked full time in corporate research positions for government agencies. She recently gave up her “dream job” to pursue being a (happier) mum, living a slower pace of life. She is also dipping her toes back into her long-lost love, creative writing. She writes regularly over at Simple Slow & Lovely, and you can also connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.
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Beautiful post! Thank you for the inspiration.
I love this post so much. In January, at 43, I left a 20 year career working in corporate IT systems to start over and go to school to become a massage therapist. I am several weeks away from getting my license and I don’t think it’s what I want to do. And you know what? I’m okay with that. My husband and I have decided to take some time to figure out our next moves career-wise and are doing the ‘Great American Road Trip’ with our dogs in the interim. Here’s to reinvention – no matter what it looks like or how many tries it takes!
Hi Heather, well done finishing this up even though you’re unsure about what you want moving forward. I’m so glad you have some time and space to road trip and talk and listen in. I have the amazing privilege of working with women in the messy middle of life – so many who have left careers to forge a new path. It takes courage of course and there can be so much joy in this. A couple years ago I was deciding whether to return to school (again) but I followed my gut and made space for A Life in Progress and this work to blossom. I’m so glad I did. xo
I love this post. I left my ‘dream career’ as a diplomat 5 years ago and we moved to the country. I have spent the last 5 years trying to work out what was next. A course of study, then my own consulting business which I wound up after 5 years. An ‘in-between’ job with a winemaker that lasted 3.5 years. I am now 4 months into a freelance copywriting career – something I fell into but which I believe is my next career while my kids grow up. And then I hope to have another season as an author
A diplomat! Wow wee! All of your jobs sound fascinating though – and I don’t think we should ever look down on our ‘in-between’ jobs. Some of mine have taught me the biggest lessons – despite being the lowest paying or shortest length. Best of luck with your next ‘bloom’!!!
Thank you for this post Emma, it definitely filled my cup today.😁 I’ve always told people *you’re never too old to live your dreams.* I’ve been made to feel like I’ve wasted my life from having gaps in my work history instead of having worked 10, 20, 30 years at the same job. I had to leave my dream job in order to raise my 3 boys and in 2012, I accomplished my goal of going to college. I’m still attending college and although, I’m a late bloomer in still figuring out what I want to hen I grow up lol, I know want to help people achieve better health, wellness and nutrition and teach them about the beauty of helping Mother Nature through plant care.💖
Yes Aida! I totally agree – you are never too old to live your dreams. Mothers face the extra pressure (if we are the primary child-raisers) of having large gaps in our work history which for some reason many employers still frown on. I love your ideas, especially helping mother nature through plant care. What a wonderful goal!
I resonate with this so much. At 29, I haven’t established a career yet and feel like I’m a failure, as I watch friends get jobs and promotions or buy houses and start families. Luckily, I have a loving financé who supports me no matter what. But I’m finally trying to figure out what it is I really want to do and face things I used to fear.
Hey India (beautiful name), I’m glad it resonates with you. Keep it close to your heart and be encouraged to do things in YOUR time xo
Hi India, the fear bit is soooo important! Fear can stop us from playing, creating, dreaming. Are you having fun with anything these days?
A great read and we need more of it. I’m proud to be a late bloomer and like you I went into education later, gaining my gcse’s and A levels at 38, degree at 42 and pgce at 46. After teaching for the last ten years, six of which were abroad, I’m off on a ten year adventure across South America. I always felt I was so behind everyone else, had my son later, bought a house later, got a career later, but now I feel liberated and excited. Heres to the late bloomers and may there be many more of them xx
Hi jane. Thanks, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I love that you feel liberated with doing things later 🙂 I think there’s many of us out here… we just have to find each other!
Thanks for writing. I am a latie too. It’s nice to know I still have time and options. I have never quite given up. But sometimes we all need the little reminder 😊
Thanks for the note Elizabeth – Yes!!! You still have time and options. I’m all about giving (mostly myself) friendly reminders to keep going and not give up just because it feels like everyone else has been there, done that.
I’m 65 and feel that the bud has only just burst open! Life was hard and I was lost for many, many years, but since the age of 50 it’s steadily improved, though not without a few false starts and wrong paths. I don’t expect that I’ll ever achieve anything particularly noteworthy in the world’s eyes, but that’s OK – it’s enough to have found peace with and within myself and a quiet way of life that brings me contentment.
Oh Anne!!! I love the way you’ve said that. I truly think that many people will resonate with a similar path to yours. To be honest – it sounds lovely. Quiet and contentment are wonderful ‘achievements’ that many people don’t have.
For me this is the main thing – to find peace with and within myself. It isn’t the career or stuff or accolades. xo
All that matters is that is noteworthy for you 🙂
Excellent post. I am sending it to my sister in law who is a ‘late bloomer’ and has always felt so terrible inside about it. Thank You!
Glad you loved it and thanks for sharing (I’ll tell Emma who wrote it). xo
Hi Robyn 🙂 Awesome, I hope it makes her feel more comfortable with who she is. Accepting this, and beginning to even love this part of me has been so helpful for me. Emma xo
That filled my cup today!!! Thank you! After reading your post, I am proud to be called a “late bloomer” myself 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!
Oh, wonderful. I loved the post too so I’m glad it filled your cup today:)
Hi DJ! i’m so glad you enjoyed it and found it encouraging. And yup – I feel proud to call myself a late bloomer too 🙂 Emma xo