Inside: We walk in greater freedom and joy when we question or examine the stories at play in our life and allow ourselves to open up to a new joyful possibility.
Who is writing or telling the stories of your life?
We all have stories playing out in our life, many unconscious, others that we are aware of yet believe or receive without examination. Most are rooted in conditioning of culture, religion, family of origin – or they may go further back.
If we want to walk in freedom, wholeness, and joy, we must do the work to open up to a new hopeful and joyful possibility. We need to question or examine the stories we believe about life, Self, our value, what we require for happiness, etc. We need to wake up to our all or nothing thinking, the ways we set limits on ourselves, or how we constantly raise the bar and then judge ourselves as less than.
When we’ve been living out a story for decades (ex. I’m not good enough) it can feel impossible to change things up. But often all we need to do is to crack ourselves open even a tiny bit to a new hopeful or joyful possibility. We can always write a new story for our life.
What Story do you want to get curious about? Can you let yourself open up to a new joyful possibility?
This season of the Rebranding Middle Age Podcast will focus on the theme of “Old stories. New possibilities.”
In this introductory episode I invite you to show up curious as you listen in and engage with the ideas offered over the next few months and notice what shows up for you. Maybe this is the season to unravel your story of “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t trust anyone.” Or perhaps your story sounds more like “I don’t have what it takes” or “I’m fundamentally flawed – bad, wrong, and broken.”
When our self-awareness grows and we wake up to how a deeply rooted story is impacting all areas of our life, it can feel overwhelming. We might feel urgency or a need to “fix” or find a solution right now! This urgency is a distraction though and disrupts our ability to create safety for ourself and stay in a place of being able to see clearly and see a new possibility.
One gentle way of lessening this urgency and stress is to narrow our focus through the power of a good question. When we hold a question (or intention) it reminds us to show up with curiosity not judgment and it feels less threatening. I offer some examples in this episode.
the power of a good question
Let’s say that in this season you’re learning to value yourself. This is a big idea – a big ask. It requires daily practice and the HOW will look different depending on the situation at hand. And if you’re new to the idea of practicing self-compassion and valuing yourself deeply, it might feel overwhelming or impossible. One way of narrowing the focus could be to turn this into a question. You might simply ask yourself each morning “how can I value myself today?” or at the start of the week “how can I value myself this week?” And then you focus on practicing imperfect action.
Or maybe you recognize that you have an abandonment wound – a story of rejection that impacts all of your relationships and you decide that writing a new story of connection and safety in your relationships is your growth edge in this season. You can’t tackle every relationship at once but slow and steady you CAN experience life-giving change. You might begin by narrowing your focus and choosing one or two relationships to get curious about in this season. When interacting with this person you might pause between impulse and response and ask “how can I show up from love not fear?” or “can I trust that I am loved and safe in this moment?” These are, of course, only examples and they may not be applicable in every situation.
But the point is that compassion and curiosity create safety and in safety we can open ourselves up to a new joyful possibility.
Are you most comfortable in your head, heart, or body?
Whatever your story – or the story that rises to the surface over the next few months – it will likely be most helpful to approach the work from a holistic or mind-emotion-body perspective.
I think of these as different wisdom centers – we all have access to all three but tend to me most comfortable in one or two. If you’re into The Enneagram, you’ll likely already know your dominant center (body center: 8, 9, 1; heart center: 2, 3, 4; mind center: 5, 6, 7).
For instance, perhaps you’re a thinker, analyzer, and rely heavily on gathering data or knowledge to direct your life. You are highly intelligent and capable but may be disconnected from your body or emotions (or both). Instead, you may be dominant in your heart center – a big feeler, super connected to your emotional world. You may need to work on emotional regulation or not letting feelings rule your day. You may also be a dreamer who struggles more with practical application or getting stuff done. Or you could be gut or body-centered and have a strong and clear inner voice. You may be reactive and feel things strongly in your body. You may like to plan and take action. But you may need to learn greater safety in feeling rather than rushing past or suppressing your intense emotional experience.
WHEN YOU WITNESS A STORY THAT NO LONGER SERVES YOU, EXPLORE IT USING THESE 3 “WISDOM CENTERS”
Mind: notice the beliefs and stories, the judgments, or ‘shoulds’ that show up.
Emotions: give yourself permission to feel and name the emotions that arise and if you’re safe enough to do so, try to sit with whatever arises in small doses. Allow yourself to dream about the truth of what you want in life rather than automatically shutting it down or believing that it’s impossible for you.
Body: make space to slow downward and listen inward so your inner wisdom can arise (wisdom/direction that lives beneath your conditioned responses). Remember that we’re all simply practicing; let yourself explore, test out new ideas, or otherwise practice imperfect action as you begin exploring a new joyful or hopeful possibility for your life.
A GIFT: Here are some ideas for strengthening the different wisdom centers.
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Krista xo
What Stories Are You Living? Explore A New Hopeful Possibility
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