What Surrender Sounds & Feels Like 9 Months after Child Loss

What Surrender Sounds & Feels Like 9 Months after Child Loss

Inside: Child loss is excruciating. Letting go feels like creating a safe and special corner of my mind and heart in which to gather and house my memories and love for my son so that I have some room left for hope and joyful possibility. TW: Suicide, grief, child loss The agony was intense but I knew that something important was happening inside of me. Several times I wondered if I was losing my mind but even in my pain and wrestling it didn’t matter if I was having a […]

Tell the Truth

Tell the Truth

Inside: Yesterday marked nine months since his death. Nine months can feel like a lifetime or the blink of an eye. Enough time to help create and birth new life but not enough time for my heart, mind, or spirit to figure out how to say goodbye. TW: grief, child loss, suicide I took my son’s leftover medications to the drug store today for safe disposal. This probably sounds like a very minor accomplishment, an inconsequential baby step, but it felt like an important act of letting go. The thought […]

You Have Permission to FEEL Angry

You Have Permission to FEEL Angry

Inside: We need PERMISSION TO FEEL and the ability to name emotion in order to move through it. Only by moving through it are we able to process and grow. The vulnerable work of moving toward wholeness or integration, of examining our identity and embracing the fullness of who we are and how we came to this point of our life, of wrestling with shadow and learning to tell the truth, can only be done as we also deepen our skills of emotional literacy and self-compassion. We need permission to […]

Why Comparison is Not Just Damaging but Dangerous

Why Comparison is Not Just Damaging but Dangerous

Inside: Comparison tells you that you’re not good enough. The way you are is bad. It’s destructive and soul-destroying. And it is a liar. Comparison is at the root of much of our discomfort, distraction, and dissatisfaction. It pulls us out of being present to our lives and into our heads, worrying about what others are up to, what they might think of us, how we wish life was or how we think it ought to be. It leaves us feeling lacking, like we’re missing out, or perpetually behind. Comparison […]

One of the Biggest Struggles of My Life

One of the Biggest Struggles of My Life

Inside: Perfectionism can drown us. It’s not all on us. We don’t control everything and everyone, no matter how much we care or love or how hard we work. One of the biggest struggles of my life is releasing my grip on needing, desperately needing, life to be orderly, tidy, safe. I spent my life wanting to be good – and realizing I could never be “good enough.” RELATED RESOURCE: Embrace Imperfection: Make Peace with the Messiness of Life The thing I cared most about in this whole world was […]

Life is Short: Make Space for What You Truly Want and Need

Life is Short: Make Space for What You Truly Want and Need

Inside: In just one heartbeat life can change forever so I choose to live each day as though it could be my last. I declutter my life to make space for what I truly want and need. Despite the imperfection, grief, and messiness of it all, I love my life and family. But loss reminds me every time I walk through it that life is far shorter than we often realize. In one breath or one heartbeat, life can change forever. I want to live each day on purpose. I […]