Inside: You cannot shame yourself into wholeness. Instead, practice self-compassion like your life depends upon it. It does. Episode two of The ALIP Podcast: Rebranding Middle Age.
You cannot shame or bully yourself into wholeness. My inner critic was vicious. It bullied me, held me back, pointed out all my flaws 24/7, and told me I was never good enough. No matter how hard I worked, I could never keep up or measure up.
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When my third child was born, 18 years ago, I held her little body in my arms and realized in that moment that for her sake and mine, I would never again bully or berate my body or myself. I made the decision and then I had to practice self-compassion like my life depended upon it.
Some Key Ideas
- Compassion needs to be bidirectional.
- Falling down, making mistakes, or being messy is not the problem. Staying down, or staying mired in shame and judgment is a problem.
- Self-Compassion has 3 components: mindfulness, self-kindness, common humanity.
- Fear and the Inner Critic are not against you – they are simply trying to protect you but in maladaptive ways (or ways that no longer serve you).
- Safety is required for us to be in a position to hear, grow, heal, build a new pattern.
- Kristin Neff: Self-Compassion
- 3/2/1 Exercise: 3 Purposeful Questions I Ask Myself Each Night as Part of a Simple Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca)
- Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop, Sep 6, 2023: register here
- How To Befriend My Inner Critic and Quiet Its Noise: How to Befriend my Inner Critic and Quiet its Noise | (alifeinprogress.ca)
- Tender Self-Compassion: Self-Compassion Will Help You Become Your Own Best Friend | (alifeinprogress.ca)
- Fierce Self-Compassion: How to Practice Fierce Self-Compassion to Get Unstuck | (alifeinprogress.ca)
The Midlife Crossroad
Midlife can be messy! It’s a time of truth-telling, important transitions, and invitations to growth. Here are 7 powerful truths to help midlife women (re)claim freedom, health and joy amid the messiness.
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