Holding Your Breath: When Your Child Dies

Holding Your Breath: When Your Child Dies

TW: suicide, depression, grief I’ve started an art scholarship in my son Jairus’ name: all proceeds from my Winter Mindfulness Journal go to the scholarship. xo I’m choosing to process some of my grief out loud. First, it is helping me when I feel like I’ll explode with rage or pain. Second, maybe it’ll help another parent feel less alone. This is a very personal journey. Please click away if reading about someone else’s loss – and particulary the topic of suicide – will be triggering for you right now. ******** […]

Ordinary Magic

Ordinary Magic

Inside: I think magic comes in the ordinary – for those willing to see. Do you want more space or permission to pause and notice the ordinary magic of your life? The streets are black apart from the meager light cast by the streetlamps. But this is more than enough light to illuminate the sparkle of the snowflakes as they begin to fall. You sense magic in the air. You throw on a tuque and warm mitts, lace up fuzzy boots, and head out for an impromptu night-time stroll. You […]

You Don’t Have to Be Fine

You Don’t Have to Be Fine

Inside: you are the expert on your life and walking through grief or trauma, or other hard seasons of life, is not a race. We do it in our own time, and our own way, and it’s OK to not be fine. It’s OK to not be fine. When someone asks the inevitable, rote, “how are you?” it’s OK to opt out. When it feels like friends or acquaintances think you should be better now, over your grief, through the storm and dry and steady on the other side, it’s […]

7 Self-Care Practices for When Life Feels Painful

7 Self-Care Practices for When Life Feels Painful

Inside: Self-care is always important yet easily neglected. In painful seasons of life when it feels like we’re drowning it can feel incredibly hard to see our way forward. These 7 self-care practices help me show up when life is painful. The choice to keep living fully as we walk through painful or scary seasons of life, in which we feel like we’re drowning or having trouble seeing our way forward, requires tremendous courage. Fear often looms large in these seasons and it can require every ounce of strength and […]

When You Don’t Know What To Do Just Do The Next Right Thing

When You Don’t Know What To Do Just Do The Next Right Thing

Inside: Sometimes life is so messy, so painful, or so scary and we don’t see our way forward. When you don’t know what to do, take one small step and just do the next right thing. When you’re hurting or in a dark and scary space, just do the next right thing. When you aren’t sure how you’ll recover or come up for air again, and you can’t see your way forward, just do the next right thing in front of you. Breathe. Hug your partner. Laugh with your child. […]

Maybe You Are Brave

Maybe You Are Brave

Inside: Choosing life when you don’t know how you’ll live and you feel alone and unheard. Choosing to love and who you are. Choosing not to quit. This is brave. Maybe you are brave. Brave. I never identified with this word. I knew it definitely did not describe me. I was afraid. I was overwhelmed. I hated who and how I was. I wanted to end my stay here. I felt inadequate and ill equipped for surviving in this world. I was clearly not brave. But choosing life when you […]

Why I (Joyfully) Eat Frozen Pizza on Friday Nights

Why I (Joyfully) Eat Frozen Pizza on Friday Nights

Inside: the thing that has made the biggest positive impact on my mental health – on my capacity to live with joy – is choosing to embrace imperfection and “good enough.” I choose to live imperfectly – On purpose. Why I (joyfully) eat frozen pizza on Friday nights… Because last spring as the apple trees began to bloom, I wanted to die. I had been living with heightened anxiety again for months and asked for help, unheard. And then the anxiety left suddenly and I plummeted into despair. I wept […]

The Kind of Person I Want to Be

The Kind of Person I Want to Be

Inside: In a world that can feel scary and harsh I want to be the kind of person who keeps believing in better. Who doesn’t give up and who keeps on fighting, who isn’t too busy to lift up others. I often feel weak or afraid and like I have little to offer, but I want to be the kind of person who shows up anyway. I want to be the kind of person who listens well. I want to listen far more than I speak. And when I don’t […]