To a Parent Who Has Lost Their Child: In the First Year

To a Parent Who Has Lost Their Child: In the First Year

It seemed as if you turned toward/somewhere else, away from all/our help, so that we are left to/ask for your help now, not in answers/but in asking all the difficult/and beautiful questions your life/bequeathed. —David Whyte 10 months ago, I lost one of my favourite people. A kindred spirit (though he’d roll his eyes at that). At 23, my son Jairus had his own best friends, but he was one of mine. He made my life better, more interesting, funnier. Harder. I loved spending time with him, and he helped […]

The Curious Ways that Constraints Unlock Creativity

The Curious Ways that Constraints Unlock Creativity

Inside: Choosing to get curious when faced with limitations allows us to shift away from judgment into joyful possibility. This post contains referral links. Have you ever experienced the serendipity of how an unexpected lesson from a book or movie in exactly the right moment leads to a podcast that leads to a conversation that leads to new insight that changes you or your perspective? One of my absolute favourite things in life is how when I get curious I build all sorts of new creative connections that meet me […]

The Best Way to Ditch Self-Doubt and Walk in Confidence

The Best Way to Ditch Self-Doubt and Walk in Confidence

Inside: Practicing self-compassion will lower self-judgment and depressive symptoms, decrease stress, increase resilience and feelings of self-worth. The best way to ditch self-doubt and walk in confidence is to practice self-compassion. Self-compassion is fundamental to living with purpose, health, and joy, and for sustainable and meaningful growth. Self-compassion is also a key tool in learning to quiet the noise of comparison, perfectionism, and fear. Let me tell you how. According to Kristin Neff, associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin’s department of educational psychology and Creator of the […]

Holding Your Breath: When Your Child Dies

Holding Your Breath: When Your Child Dies

TW: suicide, depression, grief I’ve started an art scholarship in my son Jairus’ name: there are three ways you can contribute to the scholarship. xo I’m choosing to process some of my grief out loud. First, it is helping me when I feel like I’ll explode with rage or pain. Second, maybe it’ll help another parent feel less alone. This is a very personal journey. Please click away if reading about someone else’s loss – and particulary the topic of suicide – will be triggering for you right now. ******** When […]

Ordinary Magic

Ordinary Magic

Inside: I think magic comes in the ordinary – for those willing to see. Do you want more space or permission to pause and notice the ordinary magic of your life? The streets are black apart from the meager light cast by the streetlamps. But this is more than enough light to illuminate the sparkle of the snowflakes as they begin to fall. You sense magic in the air. You throw on a tuque and warm mitts, lace up fuzzy boots, and head out for an impromptu night-time stroll. You […]

You Don’t Have to Be Fine

You Don’t Have to Be Fine

Inside: you are the expert on your life and walking through grief or trauma, or other hard seasons of life, is not a race. We do it in our own time, and our own way, and it’s OK to not be fine. It’s OK to not be fine. When someone asks the inevitable, rote, “how are you?” it’s OK to opt out. When it feels like friends or acquaintances think you should be better now, over your grief, through the storm and dry and steady on the other side, it’s […]

7 Self-Care Practices for When Life Feels Painful

7 Self-Care Practices for When Life Feels Painful

Inside: Self-care is always important yet easily neglected. In painful seasons of life when it feels like we’re drowning it can feel incredibly hard to see our way forward. These 7 self-care practices help me show up when life is painful. The choice to keep living fully as we walk through painful or scary seasons of life, in which we feel like we’re drowning or having trouble seeing our way forward, requires tremendous courage. Fear often looms large in these seasons and it can require every ounce of strength and […]