We Heal, Grow, Become at the Speed of Safety: Episode 7

Inside: Episode seven of The ALIP Podcast: Rebranding Middle Age.

After my son died, I was thrown head-first into a deep and dark winter season. The years that followed were incredibly painful and I longed for spring or light to come again. One day I heard in my spirit, “you have to live the end of one story before stepping into the next.”

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SHOW NOTES

I remember my dad telling me one day over a decade ago, that the time between a vision and the fruition of a vision or dream can take years – decades even. I can look back and see this truth at play in many areas of my life. It often takes longer than our ego wants and feels comfortable with, far longer than our brain believes it ‘should’ take, even longer than our body feels it can withstand. 

There are no shortcuts, no bypassing certain experiences. We must go through. We must do the work to put down deep roots and do the work required so that we are equipped for what comes next. 

SOME KEY IDEAS

• Safety first. Bring safety to yourself or your experience through curiosity and compassion. “We heal at the speed of safety” Linda Thai.
• Stretch don’t stress. Ask “Am I unsafe or am I feeling uncomfortable?”
• Practice a pause. Create space between stimulus and response so that you can choose your next step/your response.
• We all have patterns (behaviours, emotional responses, thoughts) that are “state not trait.” They are not WHO we are but HOW we learned to show up to life. Awareness=more choice.
• Move at your own pace. Whether grieving, healing, bringing a dream or vision to life, things take time. We grow into our vision. Grief must do its work in us.
• No amount of comparing, shaming, bullying will move us forward in a positive way. Remove the shame and judgment around whatever you are experiencing or wherever you are on your journey. 
• When you’re in the thick of it, it’s really hard to see any movement/growth/change. Reach out for support. And take one more step forward. 
• There are tools and practices you can learn to discharge stress and help you feel more regulated and able to take the next step forward: movement, humming/sighing, shifting your posture, and exposure to cold are some examples.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Join The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community Autumn Session. Early registration ends tomorrow but regular registration ends Oct 6th or when we hit our cap. Use the coupon code OVERFLOWING10 to take 10% off at checkout! Learn more: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/
• The Feel More Empowered Workshop $7: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/feel-more-empowered/
• 30 Ways to Feel Calmer and More Empowered in Your Body and Life (free): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-feel-calmer-in-your-body-and-mind/
• The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal, PhD: my referral link