10 Calming Strategies for When Tension Mounts

calming strategies

You create your menu plans and a weekly rhythm and have a half-decent system for managing your finances. You work to stay organized and even have a strategy in place for self-care. But life throws you a couple of curve-balls and you miss some sleep and someone dies and Revenue Canada audits you. And the tension mounts.

Here are 10 CALMING strategies I use to keep focused on WHO and HOW I want to be in the world

*this post contains referral links

1. I aim to get quality sleep

When life gets a little more hectic than usual there might, in fact, be a clear reason that you cannot sleep as much as normal (new baby, dying family member, you procrastinated on a work deadline). But we should understand the significant impact of losing sleep on our physical and emotional health and genuinely do our best. It is during sleep that our bodies and minds repair and rejuvenate.

Perhaps we can take a 20-minute nap in the afternoon or before supper even if it means the floor remains unvacuumed. Perhaps we can cut out evening news or a favorite TV show and climb into bed an hour earlier. Adequate sleep is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing I do to manage my health and well-being.

*A book I recommend that delves into the importance of sleep is Sleep Smarter, by Shawn Stevenson 

2. I eat a mood and hormone-balancing diet

Ensuring I eat plenty of greens, protein, and healthy fats keep my blood sugar and moods balanced. Ensuring I actually pause to eat at regular intervals works wonders too:) I also focus on magnesium-rich foods (cashews and other nuts, seeds, dark chocolate or cacao, dark leafy greens, fish, beans, whole grains, avocados, yogurt, bananas, dried fruit) as magnesium is a crucial mineral for coping with stress. Our soils tend to be deficient in magnesium and chronic stress can deplete our magnesium stores even if we do eat a diet abundant in magnesium-rich foods.

Health Canada estimates that an average of 42.9% of Canadians have an intake below estimated required intake although many consider this to be a very conservative figure. I also treat myself with calming teas like Tulsi (Holy Basil) or a herbal blend with extra dried lavender thrown in (like this Easy Day Tea or my daughter’s Fairytale Tea. I’ve included these links so you can check out the ingredients and create your own blend or look for something similar from a local shop). Something I will try this fall (my budget forced me to wait) are drinks made with adaptogenic mushrooms like these. Adaptogens help your body adapt to stress and exert a normalizing effect upon bodily processes.

*Before ingesting mushrooms (or any herb/supplement), do some research if you have allergies or are taking medications in order to avoid an unpleasant reaction.

3. I take certain supplements that help with stress

Certain B vitamins help modulate stress and may play a role in alleviating anxiety and depression. B vitamins work synergistically to promote overall health and energy production; it is usually best, therefore, to take a complex. In the morning I take a methylated B-complex which provides more bioavailable forms of different B’s. Gut health is critical to overall wellness including mental health (gut-brain axis). As such, in addition to eating fermented and prebiotic foods, I take a quality, multi-strain probiotic supplement.

I have already addressed magnesium earlier in this post and mentioned its use for stress but it can also help with tension (sore muscles/migraines) and encourage restful sleep- all useful when life feels hectic. I supplement with magnesium oil (a magnesium chloride solution that you spray onto your skin and rub in), enjoy Epsom-salt baths (magnesium sulfate), and we have a powdered product called Natural Calm (combo of magnesium carbonate and citric acid which creates magnesium citrate) that we add to liquid and drink before bed during seasons of stress.

Zinc is another mineral that plays a part in modulating the brain and body’s response to stress and which supports a healthy immune system (it is so easy to get run down during times of stress). I use a zinc-copper balance supplement to avoid creating a mineral imbalance.

4. I use essential oils and deep breathing

Research on aromatherapy, including the use of essential oils in conjunction with deep breathing, is limited. However, many people including myself, find that it is super effective at reducing stress and anxiety. The idea behind it is that it stimulates smell receptors in the nose, which then send messages through the nervous system to the limbic system — the part of the brain that controls emotions.

There are many calming essential oils (ex. Chamomile, Yuzu, Neroli, Vetiver) but two of my staples are Lavender and Sandalwood, although smell is so individual (meaning you might hate what I love). My favorite company right now for essential oils is  Living Libations with both U.S. and Canadian sites.

5. I practice gratitude

Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and author of The How of Happiness (a book I thoroughly enjoyed, tells us that gratitude boosts happiness by helping people cope with stress and trauma (among its NUMEROUS other benefits). Robert Emmons, another happiness researcher, and writer defines gratitude as “a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.”

There are, of course, many ways to practice gratitude but my favorite is to bookend my days with bringing to mind three things that I am grateful for when I wake up and as I lay down to sleep at night. I feel that this practice sets me up for success by regularly drawing my attention back to all that is beautiful and positive in my life.

6. I move my body

Exercise is a fabulous stress-reliever and mood-booster. Depending on your personality and current life situation you may need to modify your typical exercise; rather than your usual hard-core workouts, for instance, this might be the time to do more gentle stretching or yoga or to take long walks outside (if you fail to build rest and repair time into your life, exercise can actually raise cortisol which can increase stress and belly fat).

On the other hand, some people simply feel best and experience stress-reduction only when they really work up a sweat. The important thing is to listen to your body as you move through different seasons of life and adjust your movement accordingly. In general, it is also best to avoid living a sedentary lifestyle and then trying to compensate with a couple of intense workouts each week.

Consider ways to simply move more throughout the day: create a standing desk; do some gentle stretches or squats in between clients or classes; take a brisk walk at lunchtime; begin each day with 10 minutes on your mini-trampoline.

The important thing is to listen to your body as you move through different seasons of life and adjust your movement accordingly. In general, it is also best to avoid living a sedentary lifestyle and then trying to compensate with a couple of intense workouts each week. Consider ways to simply move more throughout the day: create a standing desk; do some gentle stretches or squats in between clients or classes; take a brisk walk at lunchtime; begin each day with 10 minutes on your mini-trampoline.

7. I reduce or eliminate numbing agents or distractors

Mindless surfing on social media, extra caffeine or wine, TV, a nightly habit of marijuana use, a tub of Haagen Dazs- these are examples of things we might use to numb out and distract from our uncomfortable feelings or situation. These things can mess with our hormones and sleep and keep us from being real about how we are feeling. They often lead to procrastinating on the action we need to take which only exacerbates stress! Become conscious of your preferred method of numbing when stressed and set some healthy limits on this habit.

8. I take a close look at my agenda and cross off anything that is non-essential

Seriously, if it doesn’t have to get done now, postpone it. This is not the time for painting your bathroom or guest room (my girlfriend totally does this) or saying yes to hosting a baby shower. Prioritize. You may even want to go back and simplify your perfect menu plans. A frozen organic pizza with salad eaten with peace in the home is immensely better than a four-course meal with a stressed-out family.

My point is, simplify wherever possible (although not to the point of sabotaging health)* to alleviate stress and workload. Consider freezing some healthy meals or posting a list of quick but humble and healthy meals that can be prepared at times such as this.

9. I focus on three main things to accomplish each day

This is an offshoot of the previous point regarding eliminating the non-essential. Take a hard look at what remains and consciously choose the three things that if you do this day, will have the biggest positive impact on your life. At the end of the day, if you have done these three things, you will feel satisfied.

Your Top-3 will depend on your specific situation and responsibilities, of course. It will vary each day and might include items such as: spend time cuddling and reading with my children; complete two hours work on my client’s Program Plan; brush my teeth and shower (new baby, anyone?); make a double batch of healthy muffins for kids’ snacks; pay online bills; or move my body! Living very purposefully in this way (as opposed to running around frantically) can increase a sense of control over life which can, in turn, decrease stress.

10. I stay inspired

Some people love to listen to music as they find it supports them in mood balance. I find music agitating, for the most part. Instead, I love to listen to podcasts or to read to stay inspired. It is soooo easy to get off track when life feels busy or stressful, and to start behaving in ways that do not align with how we envision our ‘best life’ or ‘best self’; I find that through the storms, it is incredibly helpful to keep before me models of health, resilience, and strength.

Like most of you, I am not rolling in buckets of free time to read at leisure. But I can listen to podcasts as I work in my home, exercise, or in the vehicle. I can bring a book with me (or just leave it in the car) for those little stretches of time when I am waiting to pick up a child, waiting for an appointment, or at a child’s piano lesson. Finally, when I find articles/blog posts online that I want to read, I save them to an app called Pocket; then when I have a ‘pocket of time’ to read but am without a book, a queue of articles is ready and waiting for me.

I hope you find a few calming nuggets of inspiration here to support you this week,

Krista xo


You're imperfect. Life is messy. Show up anyway. I'll help you figure out how.

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