We need to give ourselves permission to rest and recalibrate. In every season and especially after seasons of grief, trauma, stress, or struggle.
For years I operated in a cycle of pushing myself past my energetic and emotional capacity, of ignoring the wisdom of rest trying to tend to everyone’s needs and manage my home and life with perfection, and then falling ill. I used to feel relieved when I’d get sick and be forced into rest. Getting sick was the only way I felt permission to clear my calendar and lie on the couch for a weekend.
When we prioritize rest, we cultivate creativity, and we are able to maximize our productive hours. We live more joyfully as we ebb and flow intentionally from filling our tank to pouring out our gifts. We live resilient and rooted in self-awareness and self-compassion as we allow our bodies and brains time to restore, we give space for processing emotion, for building our support systems, and for reconnecting with our true selves under all the noise.
The most important to rest, though, is simply because you’re human, not a machine, and you matter.
The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.Diane Von Furstenberg
give yourself permission to rest guilt and judgment-free
Lack of rest is connected to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Consider the obstacles or resistance that typically hold you back from rest – Time? Lack of structure or routine? A chaotic or cluttered home? Over commitment? Grief or trauma? Anxiety that makes it hard to quiet your brain? Physical issues? A lack of self-trust? Perhaps, you aren’t even sure what would help you feel rested and don’t know where to begin.
A super common reasons we struggle to get the rest we need is poor boundary skills or leaky boundaries.
Boundaries are compassionate for you and everyone else. They help us maintain healthy relationships (less anger or resentment, for example), they support our health (less over-giving and burnout), they model safety and respect to our kids, and they reflect the truth that we matter too.
We all have boundary work to do – and I’ve created workshops and written posts to offer support in this area.
If you’re in the middle season of life, you’re likely pulled in many directions! You’re meeting other people’s needs, navigating hormonal changes, working, and hopefully getting enough sleep. There’s a good chance that you’re neglecting your REST NEEDS. The REST WORKSHEETS will help you explore ways to naturally weave more life-giving rest into your life.
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BUILDING A RESPECTFUL and nurturing FRIENdSHIP WITH OURSELVES
The more we befriend ourselves, the more we give ourselves permission to rest. In fact, befriending our True Self is a form of rest in and of itself!
When we choose to love the fullness of who and how we are, and we practice honouring our wiring in every season, our experience of rest increases exponentially.
We’re no longer living in perpetual judgment, comparison, perfectionism, or shame. We acknowledge the work we still want to do in terms of healing or growth, but practice compassion along the way.
We create a sense of safety within ourselves, lowering stress, and making space for more joy, curiosity, and overall wellbeing.
7 other forms of rest
In 2021, Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith created a TEDx Talk entitled “The real reason why we are tired and what to do about it.” In her talk, Dr Dalton Smith outlined 7 types of rest that every person needs.
I’ve created worksheets you can use to explore different types of rest you need. Sign up (look for the bright yellow opt-in form) above.
RELATED: I ordered myself The Rest Deck for daily reminders to push back against grind culture! Take a look (my referral link).Krista xo
10 resources TO support you in giving yourself permission to Rest and Recalibrate
REMEMBER: Slow down; your worth isn’t found in performance or productivity. Give yourself permission to rest, restore, recalibrate, and get resourced through healthy community, brave boundaries, and whatever else you need to (re)build your resilience bank account.
three purposeful questions I ask myself each night
For years I’ve asked myself these meaningful questions at night to end my way with intention – I keep at it because I notice the benefit to my life. It tends to be the small habits practiced with consistency that help build a life worth living. Read the full post.
9 “Bad Habits” I Think You Should Adopt for a Happy Life
For a happy life, you might need to push back against many of the ideals you’ve clung to for years. You might even choose to joyfully disregard much of the wisdom du jour. Read the full post here.
Slow Down and Lie on the Couch All Weekend
For happiness and a full beautiful life, it’s essential that we slow down and make space for purposeful rest. We can’t pour out what we don’t first pour in. Read the full post here.
THE SIMPLE BUT UNCOMMON BOUNDARY TIP YOU’VE LIKELY NEVER CONSIDERED
One of the easiest ways to cut our “work load” and create more ease and joy in life, is to declutter the relationships, commitments, or spaces we belong to that are not life-giving! The Circle of Impact Exercise will help you build a life you want. Read the full post here.
ARE BOUNDARIES SELFISH? BOUNDARIES ARE ACTUALLY COMPASSIONATE: THIS IS WHY
Boundaries are compassionate for everyone involved. And the only way to enjoy a healthy relationship, to thrive in midlife, or to live healthy and whole, is to learn to name, communicate and honour your (and other people’s) boundaries.. Read the full post here.
OVERWHELMED BY LIFE? GIFT YOURSELF AN ABUNDANCE OF REST
In a culture that idolizes doing more, acquiring more, being more, and that conditions us to believe that our worth is tied to our level of productivity or achievement, it feels brave to make rest an integral and delightful part of our lifestyle and live vision. It can also feel deeply uncomfortable. Read the full post.
MORE AND FASTER ISN’T BETTER: DO LESS FOR MORE IMPACT AND JOY!
It’s incredibly easy to fill our lives to overflowing and end up burned out, sick, and unhappily living a life we don’t really want. More and faster isn’t better. But we can learn to honour our wiring and true energetic and emotional capacity in each season of life. Read the full post.
MIDLIFE WOMEN: 3 POWERFUL WAYS TO HELP YOURSELF WHEN YOU’RE OVERWHELMED BY LIFE
When we feel overwhelmed, we feel disempowered, unable to function. This doesn’t always mean it’s objectively TRUE that we’re unable to function but it’s true that we feel that way. Read the full post.
HOW TO BUILD BRAVE AND FLEXIBLE BOUNDARIES WITH YOURSELF FIRST
Living with leaky boundaries increases anxiety, resentment, anger, and depletion, keeps us distracted, and robs us of joy. It harms us and it harms our relationships. It is not kinder to diminish your needs or dampen your voice to keep the peace or try to make others like you. Read the full post.
QUALITY SLEEP: LOVE YOURSELF WELL AND LIVE WITH JOY
Rest matters. A lot. Yet THE most important thing that deeply impacts our brain and body, both in the short and long-term, the thing that some researchers say “guarantees wellbeing and mental health”, is quality sleep. Read the full post.
NOW WHAT? RESOURCES TO HELP YOU give yourself permission to rest
Take good care of yourself – here are two simple starting points.
the brave boundaries workshop series
Learn how to reclaim your voice and build brave and life-giving boundaries that honour your wiring and demonstrate that you trust your inner wisdom and are rooted in the truth of who you are and what you want and need in this season of life. Learn how to listen to the wisdom of your body so you can set brave boundaries. Find the workshops here.
the brave + beautiful membership community
The Brave and Beautiful Membership Community is one way that as brave, curious, and weary women+ in the messy middle of life we can gather together, forge healthy relationships, and practice choosing our response to life. You’ll receive quality evidence-based education, weekly coaching, and an invitation to quarterly workshops to nourish and strengthen you mind, emotion, and body. BB members also receive two free courses about the trait of high sensitivity and exploring the enneagram. Learn more about The Brave and Beautiful Community.